Eyewitnesses report that Commissarka Pinkie was spotted on a remote Florida beach earlier this week, heroically reclaiming the People’s shoreline from a bourgeois gang of sun-hogging alligators using nothing but her Party-issued shovel and unwavering proletarian resolve.
Sources say all the good spots had been taken by unlicensed, unregulated reptiles hoarding communal waterfront property for themselves. Unfazed, the brave Commissarka launched a bold redistribution campaign with the righteous fury of a comrade whose beet vodka was starting to warm in the cooler.
The gators, recognizing the superiority of centralized planning, retreated without incident—though one was overheard muttering about beachfront equity.
Witnesses say that after securing her sunbathing sector, Commissarka Pinkie planted her umbrella, sang “This Land Is My Land” (but only once), and began drafting her upcoming pamphlet: "Leisure Through Shovel Power: A Beach Day Manifesto."
No gators were harmed—though several were gently reeducated.
Next up: seizing the lifeguard stand from the running dogs of sunscreen imperialism.
Statistics: Posted by Red Square — 6/17/2025, 1:17 pm — Replies 1 — Views 195